I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
