brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
