If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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