PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
