So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
