is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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