Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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