i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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