Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
