$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize