This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
