Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
