I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
