Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
