Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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