Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
