Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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