YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
