Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
