About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
