had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
