Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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