i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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