Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
