What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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