Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
