We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
ok first of all what the fuck
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
