Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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