Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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