Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
