It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
