she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
