and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
