Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
