where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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