Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
