I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
