I CAN MOONWALK!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
