I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
