he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
