Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
