Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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