talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
