yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
last night I used snow as a chaser
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
