she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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