he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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