I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
