so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
someone owes me an orgasm
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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