Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
