for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You ruined the universe
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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