Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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