You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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