you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
