Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
