dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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