If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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