my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
