My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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