He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
