apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
