He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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