I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
