Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
